The Rural Hill Corn Maze

I went to this event a couple of years ago and have never been back. It sounds so easy, but take it from me, it's not for the faint at heart. The corn is over head high, and the maze turns back upon itself many times, leaving one disoriented, and in my case, annoyed. They actually have people stationed in towers, so that they can see you if you are lost. At the beginning of the maze you are given a pole with a flag on it to wave if you need help. When the flag is waved, one of the people in the tower nearest you, will talk you through the maze, taking you to the opening. But these people are known to have a bit of fun with those that get a little lost, as happened to me a few years ago.

I was walking the maze, confident in my ability to squire my wife through the maze in record time. Over confidence, my first mistake. Then I decided to use the sun to guide me, keeping careful track of the time as I did so, in order to orient myself better. Second mistake. Then I began to get annoyed, which led to being a bit angry, which led to my waving my flag furiously in an advancing state of panic. You know, corn can look awfully threatening when it's that tall, and all around you!

Eventually the man in the tower gave me directions, which, after 15 minutes of walking, had me right back at the base of the same tower. The man in the tower was having a high time of it- no pun intended- leading people in a circle, while watching them from above. So I asked him again, this time in a more nuanced manner, which way was out.

Now, I'm not sure if it was the manner in which I posed the question, or if the Bic lighter I was flicking with my thumb had any bearing upon the situation, but this time I was directed in a straight line towards the emergency opening. Like I said, it sounded so easy at the time, but as I discovered, it's not for the faint of heart.