End Peace - 1982

How can you just abandon

Such strong feelings?

Am I that weak?

Or are you too strong?

I look at what we had and wonder-

Will I ever feel that much again?

Are there really other eyes out there-

That sparkle like yours-

Or shine like mine?

I really don’t think so.

Turn it over and look

at the other side.

It was worth the changes,

the joy or pain.

I can never forget the way my heart 

pounded at our first kiss,

And how time stopped 

when I first entered you.

But now we are closed to one another,

And time goes on?

For Leslie Billmire Huettner

1949 - 1989

"Don't Love Me Anymore"

It’s hard to be loved when you don’t love yourself to begin with. I mean, if you can’t stand yourself, why should anyone else even try. That is one of life’s hardest lessons to absorb. 

And once you realize it; well then you have to make sure you walk that fine line between a normal, healthy ego and a crippling self-aggrandizement.

On the other hand, if you don’t learn to at least like yourself, then you could end up like the fellow in this song. He finally gets it; but it’s too late to do him any good.

EABAE

I’m sorry to say but I noticed today

not for the first time.

I know that it’s happened many times before.

With each word that I say I catch you looking away

it’s not the first time.

I’m beginning to feel you don’t want me anymore.

AEBAE

Maybe you've heard my stories once too often.

I certainly never intended to become a bore.

There’s nothing new or exciting I can offer.

I’m beginning to feel you don’t need me anymore.

The smile on your face when you leave for the day

it speaks volumes.

And tells me just how glad you are to go.

I can’t really say that I’m even surprised

or that I blame you.

I’m starting to see you don’t need me anymore.

You know the words, the words to to all the stories.

You've memorized the punch lines, and you know the scores.

And though it's easy to blame you for turning away and leaving,

I never learned how to love myself before.