Writing As I Speak - A Study In Contrasts

The one thing of which I have never been accused is the title of this post; "Writing As I Speak." I don't. To paraphrase Jack Nicholson, "You couldn't handle it!" The truth is, at times, neither can I! Let's just say that it's all a matter of taste. I read some blogs that are laced with profanity, veritable lessons in the use of certain words as verbs, adverbs, nouns and adjectives; sometimes all at once! Again, it doesn't make the writing, or the writer, less valid, it's just not my style. However...

Speaking with me in person can be quite an experience to someone not at ease with the use of profanity as normal grammar. But, I come by it in an honest, or as near an honest, way as possible. My Dad taught me to curse when I was about 3. It was a wonderfully glorious word, actually a compound word, having both a maternal component, making it a noun; along with an action part, making it a verb. So, it was, I suppose, a noun-verb.

The occasion of this lesson in the art of compounding words lay in the fact that the guy who had just cut us off probably did do that with his mother when he got home. Nevertheless, at three years old, the remark was probably one that my Dad should have avoided making in the presence of one so young. And, for good reason...

My immediate reaction was to ape the word in my high pitched 3 year old voice, which prompted my Dad to say, "Don't say that word in front of your mother." He said it with an earnest quality, one with which I was unaccustomed, and, seizing on the fear that I perceived in his tone; children are very attuned to parental fear and unafraid to employ it as a weapon; I promptly burst into the kitchen when we arrived home, and denounced my mother as a fornicator of her own mother, which quite frankly shocked the hell out of her! Not to mention my Dad, who, employing the age old tactic of turning the table, said, "We don't use words like that! Go to your room!" Never much of a pushover; even at that age, I knew something was amiss; I replied, "But you use that word all the time!" Stretching the truth, even when so young, was not beyond my capabilities. However, I was still banished to my room.

Over the years, growing up in Brooklyn, I was able to refine my verbal skills, and still later, 8 years at sea travelling the world, I honed my abilities in this regard, to the point that I was able to curse in about 10 languages, including Greek and Arabic!

I make a really concerted effort to control my tongue when children are present, not wanting to contribute to their demise, thus creating another me. But, in conversation with most adults I'm afraid that I sometimes slip back to my days at sea and "cuss like a sailor." I make no apology, for I believe, as Clarence Darrow did, that "There are too damn few words as it is, and I think we should use all of them."

So, if you meet me on the street, don't be surprised, or offended, if I speak differently than I write. When all is said and done, "It's Only Me."

A Word (or Two) on Writing

Writing a daily blog about no particular subject, which is what I do, is not as easy as I once thought that it would be. I used to envy the columnists in the daily papers, both the national, as well as the local ones. As a matter of fact, I have a lot more respect for the local ones, who have a much smaller pool in which to fish for daily ideas. The major columnists have the whole world as their domain. But even they, I suspect, sometimes have trouble sorting through all of the stories that come their way.

These are my observations on the subject, made after almost 2 years of doing this blog. (March 29th is the 2nd anniversary.)

Writing a blog is a daily thing, though it wasn't at first, but I came to enjoy it immensely. It usually takes me about 1 hour to post a book review. But it takes several days to read the book. In the interim I have to find something to post each day. When I finish the book I scan the cover into my computer and then transfer it to the blog. Then I start to write, sometimes flipping back through the pages looking for the correct spelling of a name, or the exact date of a certain event. Often I have slips of paper which I have left throughout the book, intending to make sure those parts get mentioned in the review. Usually, and ironically, these are the parts which most often don't get mentioned at all.

Movie reviews are easier, and more fun. Aside from getting the names of the cast and the director correct, most of a movie review is based upon my "feelings". I either liked it, or I didn't. And if I didn't, I usually don't review it. That doesn't mean that every movie not reviewed here is lousy, but more likely that I haven't seen that particular film.

Travel stuff is fun because I went somewhere interesting, but I need to make sure that the historical portions are correct, as well as engaging. So most days I spend about an hour actually composing the blog, but only after I know what I am going to write about. That's the hardest part.

But my all time favorite type of post is when I write something spontaneous, and it flows out quickly and without error. There are not too many of those, but when they do happen you just keep typing, until the story reveals itself. That's magic. And the funniest thing about it is that those stories take about 15 minutes, start to finish. A rambling post like this takes about the same. The hardest part of this one will be finding an illustration for it. As of this moment, it will be a big surprise to both of us!