Sue and I had gone to the Grand Opening. I have never enjoyed being tightly enclosed in heavily populated spaces. Ships are different. With the exception of Temporary Active Duty on an aircraft carrier, with thousands of crewmembers, I had always enjoyed vessels with small crews. 40 crewmembers on a 28,000 ton ship to a maximum of 272 on a ship like of 38,000 tons was my comfort zone. All my other ships were manned by crews of about 180. Rock concerts had ceased to be enjoyable and I sought music by Independent Artists in small venues.
So, when I found myself in the zoo like atmosphere of the 7 story IKEA, built like a maze, where you are forced to roam through the entire store beginning at the top and winding downward, I wanted out. And quickly. I knew there were Emergency Fire Exits on each floor, but there were no visible signs, which were required by law. I was there for the Fire Department Inspection, which was passed in order to receive the Certificate of Occupancy necessary to open. But I could not see the signs, as they were obscured by draperies, carpets and the like.
At the first two levels I asked for the location of these Exits and was repeatedly told there were none. I finally approached some store Manager, who told me the same thing. I handed him my business card, explained that I had built the store, modifying, as necessary, thier corporate plan. Moreover these Exits existed by law and I made it plain that I needed to use one immediately, if not sooner.
Of course, over the years, Sue learned early on to detach herself from me when I was in "one of my moods." So she was merrily moving along with the crowd and shopping. At this point the Manager was getting on my nerves and so I suggested that he show me the Emergency Exit post haste. When I am initially annoyed I can be quite rude and loud. When pushed further my voice becomes ominously low and my speech deliberate. This is the point of danger.
I now demanded to be shown to the nearest Fire Exit and the steps which would lead me outside and down. He again refused my request. I replied that he really should reconsider his opinion before everyone would need to use the exits. He got my meaning, called Security, whereupon I was immediately escorted out via the hidden Exit. This was clearly my intention. Within 2 minutes I was breathing the fresh air of White Marsh, and listening to music in the car while enjoying my favorite pasttime of having a smoke.
About an hour later Sue returned, laden with packages, and smiling said, "Well, I see you got out of there." I looked at her and smiled back, saying, "Don't I always?" Then we went for dinner and we had forgotten the incident until she posted her experience in the store in Berlin today. We both had a laugh on the phone with her asking me how I had managed to get out of there.
The kicker to this story is that on the following Monday I phoned the Fire Inspector and informed him that the Fire Exit signs had all been either removed, or obscured. I met him at the store, he asked to see the Manager. The store was cleared of customers for about 90 minutes while all the Exits were cleared and a Warning issued about the repercussions of further Violations.
On another occasion I left the Convention Center in Baltimore by climbing over the railway and leaping to the top of the ticket booth and out to the street. The couple we were with, and their children, were all shocked. Sue was merely amused, especially when our younger son followed my lead. He, too, hates crowds. 🤣
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