The Balcony Story - 1984

Of all the stories I have told, or written down for posterity, there is one which I have overlooked until recently. It involves a 7th story hotel room in Virginia Beach back in 1984. Sue had come from Baltimore to see me when I returned from a 6 month contract aboard the USNS Sirius, AOR-8, a supply ship which was part of the Defense Department's Military Sealift Command.

We had spent the day at the Botanical Gardens, had dinner, and walked along the beach that evening. It was mid April and not quite warm enough for swimming or sunbathing yet.Virginia Beach has the Labrador Current and the water is quite cold from late fall through Memorial Day, but still, walking on the beach in the evening was a nice way to end the day.

Returning to the hotel, and the 7th floor, I found that neither of us had the room key. Going back down to the lobby and the front desk, we were amazed that, for some reason, the hotel had neither a duplicate, or even a master key to our room. All of our clothes were inside that room, as well as my stash of Moroccan hashish fresh from the Mediterranean. There was no question about it, I had to get in that room.

Neither of us remembers why the hotel did not simply call a locksmith. It may have been a holiday, but there was nothing to be done. I have always been in the habit of leaving the balcony door unlocked and slightly open to get that heavy scent of room freshener out and some fresh sea air in.

So, knowing that door to be open, I requested, and the hotel clerk acquiesced, to allow me entry to what I remember as the adjoining room. Sue remembers it differently. She recalls the vacant room as being one floor above, or below ours.

Either way, we accessed the vacant room and I went out on the balcony with the intent of my climbing out and reaching across the gap between the two rooms and reaching the balcony to ours. This is why I believe it was the adjoining room rather than the one above. I didn't have access to any rope with which to lower myself to the floor below. It was a bit of a stretch, about 7 feet, maybe a bit more, but I was always a good climber, be it of trees or ship's masts, so I was game. And, of course I'm sure there was a bit of showing off involved.

I remember thinking that this could turn out badly, but you have to take a risk if you want to make a gain, and so I got up on the railing and tried to reach across the divide. No go. I was about a foot shorter in reach than the gap.

There was a thin brick ledge below the balcony so I decided that I could use that and inch across  to the other balcony by holding on to one balcony with my right hand, while clinging to the brick with my left until I got close enough to the other balcony and grabbing the railing there with my left hand. Of course, there would be a moment when I would not be clinging to anything but I still believed it could be done.

I remember being a bit concerned while performing this feat, but I don't remember being scared.  And, once I'd started there was really no turning back, so onward, or more accurately, sideways, I persevered. When you are just 29 years old you take chances. Plus, I admit, there was a bit of "showing off" involved. And, there was that hashish to be considered.

Obviously I made it to the other balcony, and am still here, at 70 years old, to tell the tale. I never doubted that it could be done, but still, there was just that one moment, while letting go with my right hand, and reaching out with my left, when there was nothing but faith to hold onto.

So, there is the story. Sue can verify it. And now the tale is written, as I said, for posterity. And to think, the accompanying photo here, could well have been my last!

Leaving IKEA

 

The first IKEA in the Baltimore area was located in White Marsh off Rte 40. I had, by that time, moved on from simply estimating Earthworks, Utilites and Heavy Highway Construction, to Contracts Administration and Design Building of shopping centers, etc. IKEA was one of those projects.

Sue and I had gone to the Grand Opening. I have never enjoyed being tightly enclosed in heavily populated spaces. Ships are different. With the exception of Temporary Active Duty on an aircraft carrier, with thousands of crewmembers, I had always enjoyed vessels with small crews. 40 crewmembers on a 28,000 ton ship to a maximum of 272 on a ship like of 38,000 tons was my comfort zone. All my other ships were manned by crews of about 180. Rock concerts had ceased to be enjoyable and I sought music by Independent Artists in small venues.

So, when I found myself in the zoo like atmosphere of the 7 story IKEA, built like a maze, where you are forced to roam through the entire store beginning at the top and winding downward, I wanted out. And quickly. I knew there were Emergency Fire Exits on each floor, but there were no visible signs, which were required by law. I was there for the Fire Department Inspection, which was passed in order to receive the Certificate of Occupancy necessary to open. But I could not see the signs, as they were obscured by draperies, carpets and the like.

At the first two levels I asked for the location of these Exits and was repeatedly told there were none. I finally approached some store Manager, who told me the same thing. I handed him my business card, explained that I had built the store, modifying, as necessary, thier corporate plan. Moreover these Exits existed by law and I made it plain that I needed to use one immediately, if not sooner.

Of course, over the years, Sue learned early on to detach herself  from me when I was in "one of my moods." So she was merrily moving along with the crowd and shopping. At this point the Manager was getting on my nerves and so I suggested that he show me the Emergency Exit post haste. When I am initially annoyed I can be quite rude and loud. When pushed further my voice becomes ominously low and my speech deliberate. This is the point of danger.

I now demanded to be shown to the nearest Fire Exit and the steps which would lead me outside and down. He again refused my request. I replied that he really should reconsider his opinion before everyone would need to use the exits. He got my meaning, called Security, whereupon I was immediately escorted out via the hidden Exit. This was clearly my intention. Within 2 minutes I was breathing the fresh air of White Marsh, and listening to music in the car while enjoying my favorite pasttime of having a smoke.

About an hour later Sue returned, laden with packages, and smiling said, "Well, I see you got out of there." I looked at her and smiled back, saying, "Don't I always?" Then we went for dinner and we had forgotten the incident until she posted her experience in the store in Berlin today. We both had a laugh on the phone with her asking me how I had managed to get out of there.

The kicker to this story is that on the following Monday I phoned the Fire Inspector and informed him that the Fire Exit signs had all been either removed, or obscured. I met him at the store, he asked to see the Manager. The store was cleared of customers for about 90 minutes while all the Exits were cleared and a Warning issued about the repercussions of further Violations.

On another occasion I left the Convention Center in Baltimore by climbing over the railway and leaping to the top of the ticket booth and out to the street. The couple we were with, and their children, were all shocked. Sue was merely amused, especially when our younger son followed my lead. He, too, hates crowds. 🤣