The Torch

 Every day they say they've got him,

but next day he's slipped their grasp.

And you wonder how it happened,

how on earth did he get past?

His hair is like the helmet

some super heroes wore,

and the words escaping from his lips

are thoughts ne'er thought before.

But each night they get together

in their dark and smoky rooms,

and as the night gives way to dawn,

once again they plot his doom.

First there were the Russians-

which somehow didn't pan out-

then they got a stripper

and claimed they'd caught the lout!

Then there was the Playmate-

and there also was a whore-

why, they heaped on so much scandal

that the public soon got bored.

Then they turned upon themselves,

so they'd be squeaky clean.

And even cleaned up Hollywood-

In a rare, accidental scene!

They waited for the Big Blue Wave,

the one which never came.

And then went after his wife and kid-

deeming them to be fair game.

Round and round in circles

the people all were lead.

And slowly, but very surely,

they grew sick of heart and head.

So, the moral of the story,

and this won't take long at all -

The more you try to topple him

the less likely he will fall.